Tidal Waves Don't Beg Forgiveness.

Why am I so fascinated with death?

After all, I am getting that "So fly me home, Giant Swan" tattoo. The Swan has always been a symbol of grace and beauty, but this swan in particular is corrupted, representing society. The song is so powerful. Home is death. I just can't explain the beauty that explodes from within when Johnny Whitney cries out that line.

"Giant Swan" is about a corrupted man (possibly politician, since The Blood Brothers write a lot of songs about society and politics) who falls from the top and lives his life in a foul manner - cheap motel rooms, prostitutes, illegitimate children, cable TV, and cocaine. He is soon robbed and killed. But while he is dying he thinks about what he wished he would've done with his life. He thinks about his regrets, as the Giant Swan comes to take him away.

I have always found to death to be breathtakingly and inexplicably beautiful. And I've been in love with that lyric for two years. And everyone that knows me well, knows that I loathe society. But there's something so graceful about this death-bringing swan that also reminds me to live my life to the fullest that I can, because it can just so easily be taken away from me. I don't want to die with regrets like this corrupted politician.

Fly me home, Giant Swan. How gorgeous.

In cursive, with maybe some small flowers and inkblots. Maybe no flowers. Maybe just inkblots that gradually become words and trail off. I would love it on the inside of my forearm. Maybe my ribcage. Or foot. Lyrical tattoos are just so hard to place beautifully.

"Giant Swan" is one of the most soul-grasping songs I have ever heard:

And the sun is like a painting of your whole life, you scratch at the canvas but you can't get inside.

Your heart's a diamond, buddy, what's the price? Your heart's a diamond, what's the fucking price?

Sit and watch the ballerinas kick and spin, and strip down to your vulgar skeleton.
You better take one more drink of Captain Morgan's rum.
It's gonna sting like a raw sunrise when the Giant Swan's gone.

Your family's gurglin' grief
You think you're just asleep
Is that the curtain closing?
Giant Swan, take me to the river
Is that my breast corroding?
Giant Swan, take me to the river

All the things you wish you said are buried with your X'd out head.
All your ulterior motives
Giant Swan, take me to the river.

This song has an extra punch though - this is the closing song to the last album The Blood Brothers, as one entity, ever created. I'm in love. I've tried explaining why, but words don't express all of the feelings in my heart.

I was thinking about another song about death - "Man of the Hour" by Pearl Jam, which was written for the movie Big Fish.

Nature has its own religion; gospel from the land.

Nature will take you whenever it is ready to, regardless of what you do. And I'm not saying it's a god. Because, that wouldn't be me to get a religious tattoo hah. I just think it's a nice lyric from an amazing song.

I wanted to post more about my life, but maybe later tonight. I don't want to corrupt this blog with meaningless FYI crap. Let's just leave it be... Death and all his friends.